So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
