If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I love you. Go after that dick
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
