I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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