Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
