Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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