New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
only if we run a train.
done.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
