I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
