I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
