My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
