just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
