k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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