did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
No subtext here. People are naked.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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