I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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