just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
