I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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