i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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