at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
