She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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