Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize