We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
