But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
