I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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