She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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