the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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