Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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