White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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