pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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