Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
