i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize