I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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