it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
