Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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