I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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