I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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