Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Is it penis luge time yet?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
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