spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
