Dual....:-)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
