my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
