After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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