I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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