why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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