Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize