i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
