That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
