What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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