D3 body, D1 cock
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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