"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
