god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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