I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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