I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
