it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
