she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
