The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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