i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
