Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.

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(416): View more from Ontario

dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening

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(813): View more from Florida

Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.

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(514): View more from Quebec

the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon

(514): View more from Quebec

what does alcohol mean

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(316): View more from Kansas

Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.

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(707): View more from California

I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?

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(585): View more from New York

aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.

(571): View more from Virginia

are you on the drugs???

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