just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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