can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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