Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
two words...techno handjob
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
