I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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